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KEARA MURPHY: FURIOUS! ~ #METOO TIME'S UP! NO BAWBAGGERY ALLOWED!

Blue Eyed Lassie Productions Limited | View Performers Biography

Comedy

Venue:The Place, 34-38 York Place Edinburgh EH1 3HU
Phone: 0131 556 7575
Links: Click Here for venue details, Click here for map
Ticket Prices: Free  
Room: Room
AUG 2-26 at 17:30 (60 min)
 
Show Image

TWICE CHOSEN FOR BBC RADIO 4 "Pick of the Week"

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS "Best of BBC Radio for Christmas Day"

"Her motormouth delivery makes Ben Elton look like Stephen Hawking" CHORTLE

"Comic genius! She's Eddie Izzard with less make-up and more Glasgow. And what more can we desire." The LIST

The GLOVES are OFF.

And MURPHY is ON...

STAGE!

And she is bloody FUUUURRURRRIIRRSSSRIOOOUUUSSSSSSSS!!!

BE WARNED!

Do not PISS her off!

She is running out of places to hide the BODIES!

Let's just say...

She feels...

That some people...

Really DO need...

A 'high five'...

In the FACE...

With a HAMMER!

YES!

TOXIC people will NOT be TOLERATED!

They will be FUMIGATED!

Be WARNED!

Bring BANDAGES!

And GIN!

And HANKIES!

There's gonna be a FIGHT!

YES!

She is in TRAINING!

Actual BOXING training!

BLOODY £49 MONTHLY!

DAYLIGHT BLOODY ROBBERY!

In an actual BOXING GYM.

BOXERCISING is for SCAREDY PANTS!

All manner of SKULLDUGGERY!

BAWBAGGERY!

DOUBLE-DEALING!

JIGGERY-POKERY!

Will be ROOTED out!

Intensely EXAMINED!

Using WORDS!

And (metaphorically) SLASHED into a THOUSAND tiny PIECES with a (metaphorical) STANLEY-LIFE!

In this HARD-HITTING

ONE-WOMAN...

Comedy RANT!

No need to bring your BOXING GLOVES!

The PUNCHES are only JOKES!

But they WILL hit HARD.

BRING BOOZE!

This show is NOT about

BAKING BLOODY FAIRY-CAKES!

Or KNITTING NICE JUMPERS!

Or STROKING BABY KITTENS! - or worse! -

PROMOTING POSITIVE BLOODY THINKING...

In order to SELL your e-BOOK.

STOP THAT NOW!

This show is about FIGHTING!

Actual FISTY CUFFS!

and

SCARS!

and

BRUISES!

and STOMACH PAINS!

From laughing TOO HARD!

YES!

GET A RING-SIDE SEAT!

Bring CRISPS!

AT YOUR PERIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND A TOWEL!

FOR THE SWEAT!

THAT WILL DRIP FROM YOUR BROW!

From GUFFAWING!

At a POST-MENOPAUSAL

MURPHY'S

BLIND

RAGE!

MURPHY'S

MORE RAGE!

and

MURPHY:RAGE THE SEQUEL!

BTW!

Her RAGE is nothing to do with the MENOPAUSE!

She just doesn't LIKE MOST of YOU!

There's only so much BULLSHIT she can STAND!

So, she is OUT the HOUSE!

She's in a TAXI!

She's put on her RED ethical LIPSTICK!

She's even SHAVED her LEGS!

With an actual KNIFE!

She now has PLASTERS on her SHINS.

But the show MUST go ON!

She has THINGS to SAY!

For ONE NIGHT ONLY!

She will FIGHT!

For her RIGHT!

To be FURIOUS!

and YOU will SCREAM!

With LAUGHTER!

About her FFFFffffFFFUUuuuuUUURrrrRRrrIOoUSsssSnNEeSSnessnessNess!

The LADY will see YOU!

On 'FIGHT NIGHT'!

Enjoy the SHOW.

If you DARE!

Bring MEDICAL Insurance!

INFORM a Next of Kin!

Strictly NO CHILDREN.

SNOWFLAKES will be REFUSED entry and held in the WARDROBE of NARNIA until the show is OVER.

NO BAWBAGGERY ALLOWED!

ANIMALS and PUNKS welcome.


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